Skip to main content
This is so me!!! ...

PEOPLE LIKE US: THE QUIRKYALONES by: the original author

I am, perhaps, what you might call deeply single. Almost never ever in a relationship. Until recently, I wondered whether there might be something weird about me. But then lonely romantics began to grace the covers of TV Guide and Mademoiselle. From Ally McBeal to Sex in the City, a spotlight came to shine on the forever single. If these shows had touched such a nerve in our culture, I began to think, perhaps I was not so alone after all.

The morning after New Year's Eve (another kissless one, of course), a certain jumble of syllables came to me. When I told my friends about my idea, their faces lit up with instant recognition: the quirkyalone. If Jung was right, that people are different in fundamental ways that drive them from within, then the quirkyalone is simply to be added to the pantheon of personality types assembled over the 20th century. Only now, when the idea of marrying at age 20 has become thoroughly passe, are we quirkyalones emerging in greater numbers.

We are the puzzle pieces who seldom fit with other puzzle pieces. Romantics, idealists, eccentrics, we inhabit singledom as our natural resting state. In a world where proms and marriage define the social order, we are, by force of our personalities and inner strength, rebels.

For the quirkyalone, there is no patience for dating just for the sake of not being alone. We want a miracle. Out of millions, we have to find the one who will understand.

Better to be untethered and open to possibility: living for the exhilaration of meeting someone new, of not knowing what the night will bring. We quirkyalones seek momentous meetings.

By the same token, being alone is understood as a wellspring of feeling and experience. There is a bittersweet fondness for silence. All those nights alone - they bring insight.

Sometimes, though, we wonder whether we have painted ourselves into a corner. Standards that started out high only become higher once you realize the contours of this existence. When we do find a match, we verge on obsessive - or we resist.
And so, a community of like-minded souls is essential.

Since fellow quirkyalones are not abundant (we are probably less than 5 percent of the population), I recommend reading the patron saint of solitude: German poet Rainer Maria Rilke. Even 100 years after its publication, Letters to a Young Poet still feels like it was written for us: "You should not let yourself be confused in your solitude by the fact that there is something in you that wants to break out of it," Rilke writes. "People have (with the help of conventions) oriented all their solutions toward the easy and toward the easiest side of easy, but it is clear that we must hold to that which is difficult."

Rilke is right. Being quirkyalone can be difficult. Everyone else is part of a couple! Still, there are advantages. No one can take our lives away by breaking up with us. Instead of sacrificing our social constellation for the one all-consuming individual, we seek empathy from friends. We have significant others.
And so, when my friend asks me whether being quirkyalone is a life sentence, I say, yes, at the core, one is always quirkyalone. But when one quirkyalone finds another, oooh la la. The earth quakes.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hello, it's me!

It's been awhile since I have shared something on this space about my thoughts and my life. Well, where do I start? Maybe just like an old good friend, I will try to give you some highlights on the past years when I was not blogging.

The biggest thing that happened to me so far was I got my Australian citizenship. I know right? I know that it may not be a big deal to others but for me, this is something that I have tried to work on for the past 5 years.  My kababayans might say that I am ungrateful, but we cannot discount the fact that with a blue passport from a country like Australia, I can travel to many countries - visa free without immigration officers trying to catch my eye and check if I am planning to do something illegal on their country.

No offense, but every time I stand on the immigration line going into another country, my heart always work double/triple time because I am too anxious to be deported back to my country even if I know that I have the proper visa.

Aside …
Baby boom

The first time we settled here in Melbourne we got to know a lot of fellow Pinoys who are living on a different environment. We joined them in making Australia our second home. In each gathering, we try to get to know them better and reconnect.

We didn't know how it happened. But after 2 years, suddenly each couple had their own babies. Don't get me wrong, babies are cute but it was just surprising to note that parties suddenly turn into an event similar to family reunions back home.

Instead of blood relatives, you get to see friends and their kids grown before your eyes. It's not the gray hair that makes me feel old.  It's the babies and kids that are now walking and developing into little adults.

I can't complain. For some reason, it is good for now, to look and enjoy kids from afar. It's fun to carry them for a few minutes compared to living with a baby 24/7. It must be hard. I really commend couples with kids and having to work for a living at th…
Family Vacation - Dec 2013 - Davao

In my 30+ years of existence, we never had a family vacation outside of Luzon. Last December 2013, mama, my bro and I went to Davao to "train" mama to ride a plane. I think she liked it and it's going to be the first of many travels for her.

 I miss them but I am looking forward to our next adventure! :)