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" I love you enough to hate you... "

Venting mode... please don't read on if you don't want some heavy, emotional stuff...

"Do you hate me?" asked the man.
"I don't love you enough to hate you," she whispered as she walked out of the room. (taray ng exit).

I have heard this in one of the movies that I've watched in the past. I always wondered if this was true but last night I found out and realization struck me hard.

There are people you hate because you dislike them. You hate their guts, their attitude, hell... even the way they talk. This was the only hate I knew. This kind of hate is mild. It's just like irritation in a more deeper level.

But there's this deep seated hate that will permeate through your body. I tell you at that state you can inflict physical harm. Your hands shake and logic flies out the window. I felt this... and I knew... someone you cared and loved like a sibling can bring out the "Sith". Love flipped... is hate... intense hatred.

I barely slept last night... I vowed that I will not be affected again (that's why I am preoccupied with physical things the past few months... I have to have an outlet to all the frustrations). But of course, that's not that easy. So, you begin to count... 1,2,3... and run/play/kick again and everything will be fine.

I don't want to be a Sith. But for every person you care for ... there's this danger of turning into one. Love deep and you'll hate with your whole being.... Detach, detach, detach... damn... it's hard! The universe wants me to learn something.. and so I continue to listen... to wait... and to learn.. (hopefully)...

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