Skip to main content
Selfish Random thoughts for 2005...

It's the year 2005... whew! Another year has passed and for me... I guess it's time to sit back and think about the year that was. What can I say about this year? What lessons have I learned? What grownup thing did I do and acquire? This year was a mouthful for all. I get to learn more things about me... accept things that I cannot control and just be...

First, just some random thoughts...

1.) I love running. This year I came to realize that I haven't done much running physically but I have done much running in many aspects of my life... from realities I cannot accept... I can't even read a part of a book or a movie with a confrontation in it. That I guess explains my escapist tendencies.. if I could run.. I would... Is it because I really can't face harshness or something that is breaks the harmony in my world?

2.) I love my friends and family. I can't live without them... for this year... I think I have neglected them... especially my friends. My best friend, once was hurrying to be with his friend.. and I've said,"It's late... you must be going home." Then he told me... "When I was down and lonely he was always there for me .. so I want to be with him right now when he needs me." Ouch.. I know he just said it as a matter of fact. But I thought... I should be the one that he runs to when he's done and forlorn. I am here.. and then I thought of the times when I wasn't there because of some work I have to do... and I thought... Is the work really worth it?

3.) I need change. I hope this year is full of it.

4.) I love gay people. I do! I don't know... I am the ultimate faghag. I think I have a weird affinity with them. They're just one of the most beautiful people both inside and out. They're real and that's what matters.

5.) I think I am stagnating intellectually and spiritually. I must read more and get in touch with my soul. I try to read but not as much as I want to.

I just wish that I could find meaning in my life and not just watch as they years whiz by me. I do hope this year will help me in the realization that there is more to life than work and that there's still hope that everything will turn out alright.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hello, it's me!

It's been awhile since I have shared something on this space about my thoughts and my life. Well, where do I start? Maybe just like an old good friend, I will try to give you some highlights on the past years when I was not blogging.

The biggest thing that happened to me so far was I got my Australian citizenship. I know right? I know that it may not be a big deal to others but for me, this is something that I have tried to work on for the past 5 years.  My kababayans might say that I am ungrateful, but we cannot discount the fact that with a blue passport from a country like Australia, I can travel to many countries - visa free without immigration officers trying to catch my eye and check if I am planning to do something illegal on their country.

No offense, but every time I stand on the immigration line going into another country, my heart always work double/triple time because I am too anxious to be deported back to my country even if I know that I have the proper visa.

Aside …
Baby boom

The first time we settled here in Melbourne we got to know a lot of fellow Pinoys who are living on a different environment. We joined them in making Australia our second home. In each gathering, we try to get to know them better and reconnect.

We didn't know how it happened. But after 2 years, suddenly each couple had their own babies. Don't get me wrong, babies are cute but it was just surprising to note that parties suddenly turn into an event similar to family reunions back home.

Instead of blood relatives, you get to see friends and their kids grown before your eyes. It's not the gray hair that makes me feel old.  It's the babies and kids that are now walking and developing into little adults.

I can't complain. For some reason, it is good for now, to look and enjoy kids from afar. It's fun to carry them for a few minutes compared to living with a baby 24/7. It must be hard. I really commend couples with kids and having to work for a living at th…
Change is a must

I saw this post from a friend and I completely agree with this one.

"Why do we go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And then people see you differently. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving"

We long for home when we are away and we get to realize how happy little moments, celebrations were. When you come home, you enjoy each moment with magnified happiness proportionate to the amount of time you were gone. You also are more thankful of the people who matter the most. It's realizing their value from afar.

This is what life taught me and I am grateful.

AMEN? Amen!