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Life and Cockroaches.....

Ik!!!! A cockroach scurrying around... ikkk... another one.... and without batting an eyelash my mom began squishing them under her slippers... and she asked me to help her... but for the life of me I can't. I just stood there and watched. Then, one slipped past her and was hurrying towards me... what does a girl to do? I closed my eyes, said a prayer and said aloud.. " I am sorry," then I felt the internal organs exploding and its body pounded into the one-dimensional world. My mom laughed aloud.. "Kanino ka nag-so-sorry?" I told her... " Sa ipis...", and she just laughed.

I don't know, I've always been sensitive to flies, ants, mosquitoes, cockroaches. I can't really kill them, unless they really are a torment to my existence and I say sorry but you just pisses me off and kills these creatures. I don't know... but as I've thought of it... I may be saving them for a better karmic existence. The cockroaches that I've "terminated" may come back as a more elegant creature such as a butterfly, then a bird, then as its cycle continues, a human being and on the next karmic level. I was an agent of speeding up its karmic path.... hmmm... or am I just making an excuse for killing them. But argh! they can make our lives miserable!

I remember a similar incident in college, when I was riding the UP ikot jeepney and a green, cute catterpillar landed in my book. My friend told me to put it away... but I just can't so I hang on to it until we have reached the sunken garden and I put the little caterpillar in the leaf of a plant and hoped that it will survive and turn out to be a beautiful butterfly. Who knows.. that was a decade ago, maybe that caterpillar is now a baby boy safely tucked in a womb waiting to be born! Life and its mysteries -- there is probably no answer.. because there is no question! hehehe ;)

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