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"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding." - Kahlil Gibran

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Turned 40... Now what?

September 28, 2018 - I officially turned 40.  I guess I just want to write something about this event in my life so I could look back on what were my thoughts and probably when I turn 50 (or older), laugh at my silliness. 


Leading up to this day, I was quite excited. Months before, I would try to plan how I am going to celebrate this day with friends. It's a milestone age. I should be thankful that I reached this age in good health, and with my sanity intact. But then, as the days draw nearer I felt a crippling sadness. I tried to google my way to find some answers on why I felt this sudden rush of panic and anxiety as the reality of turning 40 was dawning on me.  And I found out that I was not alone. 

What made me sad all of a sudden? Well, many thoughts flooded my brain. Firstly, my career.  I realised I had to think of my next move. I have shifted to a less technical role and this is not something I am really good at. Business analysis is somewhat new to me. My comfort zone was t…
Baby boom

The first time we settled here in Melbourne we got to know a lot of fellow Pinoys who are living on a different environment. We joined them in making Australia our second home. In each gathering, we try to get to know them better and reconnect.

We didn't know how it happened. But after 2 years, suddenly each couple had their own babies. Don't get me wrong, babies are cute but it was just surprising to note that parties suddenly turn into an event similar to family reunions back home.

Instead of blood relatives, you get to see friends and their kids grown before your eyes. It's not the gray hair that makes me feel old.  It's the babies and kids that are now walking and developing into little adults.

I can't complain. For some reason, it is good for now, to look and enjoy kids from afar. It's fun to carry them for a few minutes compared to living with a baby 24/7. It must be hard. I really commend couples with kids and having to work for a living at th…