Sometimes one of the deterrents to total acceptance and love is guilt and fear. I cannot accept the changes that are within and without me because in my own twisted mind I think that it was my fault. That it was me who distorted the truth and the moral foundation of the person I love.

I can't stand people who exhibit the traits that I dislike about myself. Maybe the reason why I can't stand emotional people is because I am at odds with my very vulnerable and sensitive nature. I know, I can't even accept myself. How I cry for no apparent reason except for the nice harmony in the song that I like or the wondrous weaving of characters in a very beautiful movie.

I always say that I don't care but I do care, I do love, I do dream. I can't stand the ugliness of reality, of structured living and the abrasiveness of people. I like beauty in words, in the trees that sway with the blowing of the soft wind, the smell of brewing coffee and of course, beautiful, intellectual and stimulating people.

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